let the light shine on your efforts

"The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun. Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? it hath been already of old time, which was before us" Ecclesiastes 1:9-10
Don't let Solomon stifle your creativity - pick up the Book and get the context of the futility of trying to create some temporal immortality, toiling under the sun. Bearing that in mind, just because it's been said or done before, doesn't mean that your personal touch on something won't make it ring true for someone now.
There's all these inspirational quotes about going for it, you can do it, some followed with an at least you tried (anyone else thinking of Lord Tennyson's famous "Tis better to have loved and lost"?)
But then there's that crystallizing moment, when something you've seen, read, heard, so many times before, suddenly clicks. This quote was it for me when I read it the other day:

“If you’re going to risk and maybe fail, 

fail at something that matters. 

Fail gloriously 

so that even in failure, 

lives change.”

Telling Myself: to live HERE

Do you ever get so busy, you forget you had a goal for the day? Maybe in all the craziness of real life, the To Do list was updated to the To Do Tomorrow list. I've been feeling like that for a while. Come to think of it, probably since I was sixteen years old, which feels like both forever ago, and only a few days past.

On those nights when I didn't collapse into bed and immediately pass out in exhaustion, I'd lay there trying to slow my brain down by making a mental list of the things I'd do tomorrow, then wistfully imagine my magical home once I got things organized. My children would be well behaved, the dryer would never gobble another sock, I'd cook fabulous meals from scratch out of thin air, things would be simple, relaxing, and beautiful.

When I was in college, I thought it'd be so much simpler when I had a career. When I was working, I thought it'd be so much simpler if I could stay home with the kiddos. Here's the shocker: now that I'm home with the kiddos, life is as complicated as ever. Maybe even more so, as I'm responsible for more than just my own self.

The commonality to all this, besides the busy craziness and wishing for a calm existence? In this case, it would be me. My commitments made, to do lists of both the necessary and completely unrealistic, the mental picture of an ideal home and family life . . . in all these "should do" and "could be" things I've collected, what did I do with myself? What did I do with that handsome, wonderful man I married and sweet, angelic little babies? Well, they'v stuck with me, though all my craziness. Lately I've been reminded (or been noticing all the blatantly obvious hints!) that one can do wonders with what one has on hand. That life slips by far to quickly, and I've slipped back into the mindset of spending every day wishing it was Friday instead - wishing my life away.

So I'm giving up all those aspirations. I'm going to sit on my duff!   Wait! That's not where I'm going with this rambling :)

I'm re-evaluating all these illusions I've adopted of what an ideal life, home and family would look like. I want to scrub away the nonsense and get down to what is true, right, and good. I'm reminding myself of the things that I need to be and trying not to include one of the stereo types tagging along. Right, I'm human, and I'm sure at times this will be an abysmal failure. Will I be a better me? Wife, Mom, Friend? I hope so.

One day I'm going to reread this post with aged wisdom and realize what a goof I am/was. That's okay, I'm going to do the best I can with what I have now. :)

my own scarf full of hugs

Throughout the day lately, my daughter, seemingly out of the blue, will say to me, "I love you my mother." She says it cool, calm, serious, often while she's coloring or otherwise busy. But every time she says it, I feel like I just got a great big warm hug from her, and know that despite all the crazy hectic days and arguments over whether she'll eat her carrots or go to bed when it is bed time, there's a mother-daughter bond, love, that won't be broken, even when she thinks I'm a crazy old lady out of touch with "cool". I'm storing up all these hugs for remembering later... 

I used to send a scarf with her to kindergarten that was "full up with extra hugs for all day" while she was there and I was at work. I'm thinking I'll need my own scarf soon enough. There's an old song, about the uncertainties of the future, I don't remember all of it or if it's quoting something, but one line stays with me:  "I don't know what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future." 

musing

thought
       throwing rocks at roses

persuasion
       pearls before swine

completion
       crowns before a throne

infinity
       in a place beyond time

Quote - Tom Masson

Quote in Print

About Tomas Lansing Masson

Sophrosyne (σωφροσύνη)

a Greek philosophical term

e t y m o l o g i c a l l y

meaning moral sanity and

from there self control

or moderation guided by

true self-knowledge.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sophrosyne

An "inspirational saying about grammar"

Devotees of grammatical studies have not been distinguished for any very remarkable felicities of expression.

- Amos Bronson Alcott

US educator Transcendentalist (1799 - 1888)

I just don't see how that inspires one to aspire to greatness by use of grammar...

Inspiration

There's something about a fresh, clean, high quality, unmarked peice of paper. Something about the texture, the color... it gives me the feeling that I'm about to write something wonderful.